Top 10 Movies with a Hammer in
May 23, 2012 3 Comments
Stop! It’s Hammer Time
Top 10 Movies with a Hammer in
A while ago, I compiled a list of movies that showcased the axe in all its wondrous chopping glory. But now, we’re done with cutting stuff up. How about we bash the shit out of some other stuff. Let’s knock one out then; you know, a countdown of the top 10 movies with a hammer in, of course. Okey dokey; here it is:
10. Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World (2010)
This is Ramona Flowers and this movie is nuts. Crazy fun nuts; as you probably could’ve guessed from the ludicrously silly CGI hammer in the picture. I guess this takes the number 10 spot as it’s a movie with a hammer in it, and I had to start with something. Gees, get off my case.
9. Beetlejuice (1988)
Tim Burton and Michael Keeton at their best here. Beetlejuice has hammer arms…and bat ears…and an umbrella hat. Awesome. Keeton’s real name is Michael Douglas believe it or not. Well, believe it because it’s true. Anyway, Beetlejuice here wielding the only multiple hammers on this here list. Who wants to see a Beetlejuice remake or sequel though? I, sure as shit, don’t.
8 Casino (1995)
Ow. Don’t cheat at de Niro’s casino. If you do take your chances though, you may well end up getting smacked really hard in the hand with a hammer. A little one; so it gets your knuckles good, sucka. Beardy looks like he ain’t gonna try screwing Bob over again. Plus, I can vouch that getting hit in the hand with a hammer hurts. I did it to myself, not 36 hours ago.
7. Special Mention: Django Unchained (2012)
Ok, so at this juncture I must apologise for including a movie that is yet to be released. However, Mr. Dicaprio looks rather menacing as he stares at his hammer. What has he done with it? Or what is he about to do with it? Could there be something etched onto the handle? Who knows; we’ll have to wait until December to find out. Either way, it’s Dicaprio in a Tarantino movie. It’s gonna be great. Besides, The Top 9 Movies with a Hammer in was a rubbish title.
6. Kill List (2011)
This is the most visceral hammer attack in the countdown. It was kind of hard to watch; you know like the rape in Irreversible or the head stamp in American History X. The fella cracking this guy’s head open is a hitman with a temper; and he’s got a kill list to tick off. It’s ok though; the guy is a paedophile rapist priest. The only kind there is, I think.
5. Thor (2011)
Yes, it conducts a bit of lightning and it knows who’s got their mitts on it. Fair enough; but this list isn’t just about the hammer. It’s about hammer scenes and the movie in its entirety. And I don’t recall any specific hammering scenes in what was a pretty shitty movie. Thor was only redeemed in The Avengers Assemble. All things considered, getting the number 5 spot is down to the hammer alone. Because without it, Thor’s only a silly demi-god.
4. Blade 2 (2002)
‘What the fuck?!’ indeed. The guy facing us in his best PVC get-up is called Lighthammer, which is hilarious in itself, but he’s the one saying the line. Which begs the question, can the other veiny dude be scarier? Ah yes, he’s a vampire who eats vampires. Oh that’s right. The great big hammer shoots out a massive spike at the end too; like an axe hammer, which is pretty damn cool in my book.
3. Drive (2011)
Gosling’s already hit the shit out of this pimp’s hand, like 18 times. And now he’s got a bullet to his head. This is gonna injure him a great deal. And the whole scene takes place surrounded by a bunch of naked strippers who don’t move…or blink. They just watch as this nutjob threatens to take a hammer to the other nutjob’s noggin, and they’re ok with that. This movie is a love story. Go figure.
2. Misery (1990)
That’s James Caan’s feet there. And he’s got a piece wood in between his ankles. You can see where this is going. Kathy Bates is his biggest fan, so much so, that she refuses to let him go until he’s finished his latest book. And this is how she convinces him to stay. It’s called hobbling and it hurts….a lot.
1. Oldboy (2003)
Ok, we’ve made it to numero uno. Oldboy highlights what you should do when you come across a bunch of bad guys in a corridor and all you have to protect yourself with is a hammer. Oh-Dae Su, that’s the main guy (in the picture); he was locked in a room for 15 years, not knowing why or by whom or even if they would ever let him out again. So, he’s pissed about it. Hence the scowl. So, just prior to this scene, he’s just plucked out some unfortunate bastard’s teeth with the claw (nail retrieving) bit of the hammer. So, this got extra points for thinking outside of the box. Then he opens a door and finds the bad guys. The scene is a few minutes long and one shot that follows him down the corridor as he whacks, bashes and wallops the shit out of anybody in his way. It’s a very impressive bit of choreography and amazing to watch. I think you’d agree that this movie deserves to take the hammer time gold. Nice.